Things I have learned in my 11.5 years on how to get good, or should I say, human food.

1. Give them a sweet face and they will break down and give you food.

I mean look at my face?  What kind of human would turn those eyes down.

2. If cute eyes fail, lay underneath where the Human cooks, she will eventually drop something. It works really well if you make it hard for her to reach things.  And it is even better if you can time standing up and moving so that it bumps her making her drop food!

3. Lay underneath the dining room table.  The female Human is messy, so I face her direction.  I never mess a scrap.  I think she is happy about that since I have heard her say “At least that means I don’t have to vacuum!”  I am just doing my part to help the family out.

4. When no one is looking, put your paws on the kitchen counter and surf, the humans are bound to, on occasion, forget to put away everything.  I scored the other day a yummy melon that was fresh from the yard.  My word of advice when doing this, is eat it all and quick, or else you will get caught, and the Humans do NOT like this.

5. Of course you can get food by the traditional means, waiting for the dog food bowl.  But the good food, the kind the Humans eat, never seem to show up in that bowl.